Are You Ready For A Boyfriend?

How do you know when the time is right? Though current society and the media tend to portray boyfriends as "not a big deal", they kind of are. We take singleness for granted. But, even if you don't have anyone knocking on your door, waiting to give you flowers, how do you know if you're ready for it to happen? 

From what I've experienced and observed in life, there are three stages you could possibly be in:

Not Ready, But Open

Ready, But Not Open

Ready AND Open

Let's uncover them together.

Not Ready, But Open

You're definitely not ready for a boyfriend. You know this. You don't have to take quizzes or ask your friends because the answer is obvious. Perhaps, you're not ready due to financial issues, emotional issues, or spiritual issues.

If someone asked you, "Could you handle a boyfriend right now?", your honest answer would be, "Of course not."

HOWEVER, if a guy asked you out, you'd say, "yes", in a heartbeat.

You're not ready at all. But, you're willing to accept. In fact, you're willing to initiate and pursue.

Why is that? 

Honestly, for each person, it's a different reason. But, it definitely comes from your childhood experiences. You have to sit back and objectively analyze yourself.

When did you ever throw yourself into something serious without taking the proper amount of time to prepare?

For example: You were too young/scared to be visiting your father after the divorce, but you went for it anyway. And ever since then, you've been launching yourself into situations that you're not ready for.

Though the consequences of being Not Ready, But Open are sometimes positive (when tackling jobs and opportunities that come your way), they can be disastrous when it comes to relationships.

Ready, But Not Open

You are ready to have a boyfriend. You are ready to be financially successful. You are inches away from overcoming your deepest issues. BUT, you are not open to any of this happening.

You look for reasons why you shouldn't do something, even when you're completely prepared for it to happen.


Afraid to Be Happy (click ME) is DEFINITELY going on here.

You want good things to happen to you. You are prepared for good things to happen to you.

HOWEVER, you're not open when a good thing comes along.

Why is that? 

Looking back to your childhood, did you ever prepare for something, only to have it taken away from you by something that was out of your control?

For example: You saved $100 of your allowance only to have someone break into your room and steal your piggy bank. Since then, you've never saved again. You spend every check, every source of income as soon as you receive it.

Though the consequences of being Ready, But Not Open are sometimes positive (like being able to easily say "no" to peer pressure, douchebags, and jerks), it can still be disastrous to relationships--when you find yourself saying, "No thank you," to Mr. Right.

Ready AND Open

You're pretty prepared (emotionally, financially, and spiritually). You're on track for where you currently want to be in life. And you're open to opportunities as they come.

Those deep psychological, childhood problems are being resolved.

You know when to be closed (to guys that are bad for you) and when to be open (to guys that deserve a chance).

I haven't met a lot of Ready AND Open people. Usually, we fall into the other two categories. It takes wisdom, time, patience, and experience to be both Ready AND Open.

We're all reaching towards being Ready AND Open.  Which stage are you at right now?

Love,

Zabrinah