Here's an excerpt from my response:
So, I've never tried online dating, mostly because I don't know how I feel about it. It can produce great experiences, as well as some not-so-great experiences. I feel like you've had some of the latter.
Online dating is a tool. Like a hammer or a drill, a tool can be used for good and bad.
Nevertheless, it's a tool and the choices you make are very important.
I'm sorry if I have limited advice on this subject, HOWEVER, I want to tell you the following things:
1. Don't do the same things and expect different results. That is quite literally the definition of insanity. It's okay that you're going back to a site you've used previously, but something about this attempt must be different. I'm not talking about changing your profile picture/hobbies, but something has to be different within you.
You seemed to hint at having a previous problem of obsessing and over-analyzing. Learn from those mistakes now.
2. Don't view the Dominant Energy principle as a hindrance. Because I don't know the world of online dating very well, I'll just tell you what I would do. I would make my account as truthful to my personality as possible and wait. If no guys contact me, I'd maybe tweak my profile a bit more. If still no guys contact me, I'd probably just shrug and continue living my life. I'd know that I put myself out there and that it just wasn't the right moment.
3. Spend more time on your career/ambitions/goals than you do on that dating website. Writing is one of my passions, and I write consistently on this website. It keeps me consumed with things that are important to me, but not in an obsessive or unhealthy way. Having goals and ambitions has resulted in a lot of happiness and fulfillment.
Best wishes,
~Zabrinah
Before now, my blog hasn't provided any tips on online dating, because I've never experienced it. So, I have a proposal for all of you.
If you're interested in the idea, in March, I will begin online dating with a clear goal of practicing what I preach.
I'll write detailed posts on my experiences from setting up the profile to going on an actual date. Hey, I might even ask you for advice!
I want to see what it's like, firsthand: online dating the Zabrinah way. That way, I'll have handfuls of solid advice for the rest of you who have been curious about online dating forever, but too hesitant to try it for yourself. Trust me, I understand the hesitance!
If this sounds interesting to you, please let me know by filling out the following poll:
Please Vote!
And discuss in the comments why you either said "Yes!" or "No!"
Zabrinah
You should go for it! I agree with all of your advice, too. Really, the best way to get ready for a relationship is to concentrate on you and your own goals, and spending less time on the dating sites. If you're honest and put yourself out there, that should be enough.
ReplyDeleteIt really should be enough. If you honestly put yourself out there, and no one comes pursuing, it just means that it wasn't meant to be right then.
ReplyDelete:)
~Z
zabrinah... i am an online dating expert! (actually i'm a dating expert in general-hahaha) but i can spot a weirdo in the first email try it... it's fun! ;-) tara
ReplyDeleteGreat idea!
ReplyDeleteYou should do it! Sounds like it'd be fun :)
ReplyDeleteRecently joined such a site. Educational and worth it for self development. I expect you may feel frustration sometimes but you'll have alot of fun!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for all you comments and support so far! It means a lot. Even if some of you don't approve (to those who have emailed this to me, THANKS! :) it's nice to know what to watch for).
ReplyDeleteThese are all very interesting and factual tips. A lot of people are getting hooked in online dating services. Some people just want to have fun while other look for the right partner. I agree with the last tip that an individual must focus on his/her goal first. It will surely make you happier.
ReplyDeleteYes! First step is okay, you just have to watch the reaction on this first step! If you like it - go for it!
ReplyDelete