The Most Unattractive Thing You Could Do

I picked up a book by Sean Covey that I hadn't read in years and in the first chapter, it said:

"The ironic thing is that the more you center your life on someone, the more unattractive you become to that person."

I realized that this was a BRILLIANT piece of advice. It's a sad, but true fact. The most unattractive thing you could do--whether you're in a romantic relationship or not--is to center your life around his. 

Here's a confession for you. I used to memorize the school/work schedules of my crushes! I wanted to know where he would be in the hallways or getting lunch. How embarrassing is that? How creepy is that? How desperate is that? Forget being nonchalant cool. You've become a complete stalker. No wonder guys can see The Switch flicker on the second you start to seriously like them.

Don't Be Ashamed

For many of us, when we begin to notice a guy, our first impulse is to converge upon him like a rhinoceros tackling a grape. Know that it's perfectly fine to be tempted. Sometimes, our hearts jump to a Level 2 (read How Much I Like A Guy Meter HERE) without our permission.
It happens.

Level 2 is the temptation. But if you notice on the meter, Level 3, is the sin. This is my way of saying that you are consciously dwelling on those ooey gooey, lovey-dovey thoughts. Your mind gave your heart blatant permission to keep going. Before you know it, the next thing you'll want to do is center your entire existence around this person.

Why It's So Darn Unappealing

1. It makes you far too sensitive. I don't think that there's anything wrong with being appropriately vulnerable when a relationship is serious, however, becoming a Level 3 (or higher) too soon encourages you to do some crazy things. You'll flip out when he doesn't respond to your text message. You'll pretend to pocket-dial him, if only to hear his voice say, "Hello?" You'll overact to every little thing he does. Imagine if a guy behaved this way with you. You'd call him controlling and obsessive.
I'd get a restraining order ASAP.

2. You are an insecure mess. Because you're focusing on his life far more than you should, you're prone to be jealous and calculating.

3. You are beyond annoying. Wonder where the expressions, "Get a life!" or "Find a hobby!" come from? Well, I think I know ...

Be Aware

The person you're obsessed with might not even be a good guy. He could try to take advantage of your feelings or passively watch you mortify yourself on a daily basis.

The bottom line is: whether he's a nice person or not, it is horrifyingly unattractive to make him the center of your world. When your only hobby is spending time with him, there's something intensely ugly about that.

No one (including you) wants somebody who seeks constant validation. Don't be that person. We want to be surrounded by people with outstanding self-worth, confidence and integrity--for those are the most attractive traits you can exhibit.

Love,

Zabrinah