1. To attempt to change him.
2. To prove that I'm cool and well-rounded for having "guy friends".
3. Because I secretly liked him all along.
Do you see any of these tendencies in yourself? I only realized mine a few days ago. We're consistently learning about ourselves. Now that I know, I'm very careful with my "guy friends".
I don't get too close because I'm aware of my true reasons for wanting the friendship.
Be Careful
Proceed with extreme caution. Don't forget about your emotions. The more we spend one-on-one time with a guy, the more we open our hearts. Doesn't matter whether he sees you in a romantic way or not, your heart is hardwired to attach itself to him.
Don't believe me? Read the following:
Physical vs. Emotional
Guarding Your Heart
Conclusion
What are your reasons/ulterior motives for befriending guys? Are they more earnest than mine? Or do you make friends with guys to make your crush jealous? Yep, I'm guilty of that one, too.
And do you think that guys and girls can JUST be friends?
Discuss in the comments!
Love,
Zabrinah
P.S. My best friend just sent me this video. This is HILARIOUS:
I am a very social person and make friends with both women and men. And I do have a lot of male friends. I thought it through and I still don't know why I befriended the guys. Maybe I thought they were cute at first and then realized that they're sooo not my type, but I get along with them quite ok. Actually I think most of my male friends, they befriended me. And I clearly know why: they liked me and thought maybe there could be more. But it wasn't so they found in me an honest female friend, a mother-like friend to be exact. :))
ReplyDeleteI've always had guys as friends, ever since I was little. I like hanging out with guys, it's usually a lot less pressure than hanging out with girls, who can become catty (not saying all girls are, because that's not true, but women tend to have that tendency).
ReplyDeleteSunshine Sarah, that's very honest and so true! I've befriended guys who I later found out were not my type. Then, I stayed friends with them because we got along. I really like that they found you to be honest and mother-like. That's adorable!
ReplyDeleteOverall, I definitely think that a lot of the time, guys and girls befriend each other because of the attraction--because they think something more might happen between them. They stay friends because they realize it never could.
~Z
I believe girls and boys can be mutual friends. In the past I had guy friends who were just my mutual friends and they were respectful and I did not feel uncomfortable in this form of relationship. However, this post helped me to remember an interpersonal communication class that I took a few years ago and everyone including the teacher were very open about their relationships. I can remember that all the guys in the class (more than 10 guys) stated that whenever they have a girlfriend they most likely wanted to be intimate with that girl and hoped that their mutual girlfriends would want an intimate relationship with them. I know that there are guys who would not want an intimate relationship with their mutual girlfriends; however, the statement that those guys made caused me to think differently about guys who want to be my mutual friends.
ReplyDeleteJoy, you definitely have it right! If you haven't checked it out already, there's now a video underneath the post, showing exactly what men really think about this question.
ReplyDeleteI think I'd befriend a guy
ReplyDelete1) for the sake of being accommodating
2) because guys are also fun to talk to
3) when we share a common interest.
I have a lot of guy friends. I've also made out with a lot of my guy friends. We're still, just friends.
ReplyDeleteLol, Anonymous. :)
ReplyDeleteIle Odarod: I think it's a good idea when you share a common interest. I also think that's when I guard my heart the most because it's easy to fall for someone who likes what you like.
~Z