HIM: Hey, don't tell anyone about us, okay?
YOU: What do you mean?
HIM: Like your families and friends don't have to know we're together.
YOU: Um ...
Tip #1: Get suspicious. Try and think of some honest-to-goodness, legitimate reasons to keep a relationship a secret. Now, is your situation actually one of them? Also, focus on his behavior with you. Is this an issue of him being ashamed? When anyone suggests any kind of secret relationship with you, get suspicious.
Tip #2: Keep those you trust in the loop. Whenever, whenever, WHENEVER a guy tries to pull you away from your family or the people you're close to, RUN AWAY FROM HIM. That is not okay. It never ends up well when the guy you're involved with tries to alienate you from the people that love you.
Tip #3: Check your self-esteem. What do you think you truly deserve in a guy-friend, a boyfriend, a fiance', a husband? We settle for much, much less than we deserve, and quite frankly I'm fed up with it. How many times do people have to tell you that you're beautiful until you believe it? How many times will you check his facebook when you know you shouldn't? How many times will you refuse to exercise some self-control because it's easier to ignore your conscience and dwell in short-lived pleasure?
Stop it.
Tell yourself that you're beautiful. Remove his updates from your facebook news feed if the temptation gets too strong. Make promises to yourself and keep them without creating excuses that allow you to go back on your word. These are all things I am recently guilty of. Don't mistrust yourself. You deserve better than that.
Love,
Zabrinah
It's my opinion that no woman should settle for a secret relationship because the guy is not usually committed to this type of union. A man who wants this type of relationship is either committed to another relationship or he is playing around and does not want anyone to know that he is dating: He may be ashamed of the girl that he is dating or he is not serious about the relationship.
ReplyDeleteSecret relationships are not relationships, indeed!
ReplyDeleteAs always I love your posts/blog... How goes it girl?
ReplyDeleteA secret relationship just simply isn't a relationship... there's something not quite right there, what's to be hidden?
Hope all is good with you, wishing you an early Merry Christmas and super wow 2012 if I'm not able to pop back in time. Working through Xmas/NY... grrrr!
x.o.x.o
I used to think that secret relationships are really cool when I was younger. Just because of the simple romantic concept: The Two Of Us Against The Whole Wide World. Now I think you're right: there's something suspicious when a guy wants to hide you from everyone. He's either frightened of an official relationship or ashamed of you.
ReplyDeleteCheck out my new post at Closet Diving! :)