Finding The Courage To Tell Him

You have that crush who doesn't really know you exist. You never cross his mind ... at least not in a romantic way. Right before your big trip, you feel like you just have to say something. You've gone all this time without him knowing how you feel. This is your last chance for those daydreams of yours to come true. You're going far away and you may never see him again. So, how do you find the courage to tell him? Um ... you don't. Don't. Tell. Him. Please.

Before you jump at me with all sorts of scenarios where it has worked out perfectly when you told a guy how you felt at the airport right before you took off, let me tell you one important thing: YOUR LIFE IS NOT A MOVIE. No matter how hard Hollywood tries, mainstream media does not depict healthy, realistic relationships ... nor should it. It's fiction for a reason. Films and TV shows aiming at youngsters in love are especially full of dysfunctional couples, riddled with infidelity that's supposed to seem cool, and laden with gossiping/backstabbing that's supposed to be normal.

My Experience

I had already moved away without ever telling him how I felt. One year later--and TRILLIONS of daydreams later--I finally gathered the courage to .... write on his facebook wall (read The Facebook Test: Part One) Yes, that was the best I could do. I didn't have his number, which should prove to you right this second that this crush was unrequited. And remember what I always say: unrequited love isn't that cute.

Anyway, I didn't confess my undying love to him on facebook. I just asked him how he was doing. My diabolical plan in all of this was to have a fruitful wall-to-wall going, and then progress to facebook private messages, and then to text messages, and then to talking to each other long hours into the night ... and finally, to dating each other long distance. Did any of this happen? Nope. It led nowhere. He replied back once and that was it. Looking back now, I'm glad that was all.

If you read The IV DRIP (click ME), you'd know that guys move on. I don't know why I had the ego to think that he had any feelings in the first place, much less one year later. But those daydreams can be convincing. We all know that.

Why You Shouldn't Tell Him

1. Because The Pact (click ME) states that you shouldn't like a guy unless he likes you first.
2.You shouldn't be the Dominant Energy (ME) in any relationship.
3. Never assume a guy likes you unless he says it out loud to your face (Signs That He Likes You).

Breaking one or more of these rules can bring you to extreme mortification. I only speak from observations and personal experiences. Almost EVERY love problem I've ever been involved with or received by email begins with one of these rules broken. That tells me that we should do our best not to break them, and if we do ... don't sweat it! Just begin repairing: bring ourselves back down to a Level One.

Please don't tell him how you feel just because you're ready to physically part ways. Don't you deserve a guy who will tell you that he likes you before you're gone? For some reason, we think that all men are inherently shy. Or at least the guy that likes us is "too afraid" to let us know how he feels. And for some other unknown reason, we think that telling a guy we love him will make him love us. Nuh uh. No way, honey. It may be that way for us girls (and not even all of us), but not for guys. Those feelings already have to be there within him. That's why he'll tell you first. 

If you need further assistance in keeping your trap shut, please read the following:

• 4 Reasons Why Unrequited Love Isn't That Cute (read ME)
• Dominant Energy (read ME)
• Signs That He Likes You (read ME)
• I Know You Like Him So Much, But You've Got To Stop (read ME)

Love,

Zabrinah