This Is My Life Now

I'm going to stop dating for six months. I'm going to give up men for a year and focus on myself. I'm going to remain single for the rest of the month. Have you ever had thoughts like these before? I definitely have. We're bargaining. It's like we're telling the universe, "If I keep my heart in check for the rest of the year, will you bring me my Prince Charming?" Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. Though the effort is certainly there, we have to change our entire thought process to a more permanent state of mind. When making important love decisions, we need to say, "This is my life now." 

If you think of guarding your heart or making better decisions when it comes to guys as just a temporary thing, then that's what it will be. Only temporary. You won't receive the full benefits of an actual commitment to not falling for the jerks and losers anymore. You won't really stop missing him or let him go, unless you commit to doing that for the rest of your life. Stop thinking of it as a temporary adjustment. Instead, you have to believe that whatever change you're making is incorporated into your life ... for the long-haul.

Think Of It As One Day At A Time

I used to wonder if I could make it through the rest of my single life without daydreaming about a guy who isn't mine to daydream about. I didn't know if I could stop pursuing or maintaining an interest in guys who didn't reciprocate my feelings. If you have felt the same way about anything, ask yourself this:

• Can you make it through one day without daydreaming?
• If not, can you make it through one hour?

Ask yourselves those same questions--and insert your love issue (if it's not daydreaming, it's something else). 

Make it through each day and repeat it. For some of us, we have to remind ourselves to guard our hearts each hour. But as long as you can make it through one day, it'll get easier. You can make a positive change that impacts the rest of your life.

Love,

Zabrinah