High Standards Without A List

Here's the latest (excerpts from a recent email):

I have a statement of caution, ladies. Beware. Whenever you have a list, you will automatically start looking around for the items on it. I can't put all the blame on you. It's a natural, human thing to do. Think of your grocery list. You don't make one and then wait for the perfect apples, oranges, and bananas to approach you. You go after them. You're always aware, subconsciously looking, and that's not good. 

There is a difference between standards and a list.

So many of us have a list, but no standards. That was me only two months ago. This is where compromise comes from.  Let's say your list holds 10 items. He has to be "this ... this ... and this". If you're looking at him--essentially judging if he is a match--you'll shrug your shoulders and say, "He's got 9 out 10! No one's ever come that far. That's good enough." And how could you ever make a list that encompasses not only what you desire, but all that you need. You can't.

You heard it here first. Zabrinah is done with lists. It doesn't work. Now hold on extremists, that doesn't mean you'll just date anyone now. You need to lift those standards up. Trust in your own self-worth for once.

But if you become the woman of your dreams first, you will attract the man of your dreams.

Love,

Zabrinah

P.S. I promise to delve into this issue and the other ones addressed in the email (there are more excerpts to come) in greater depth in the following posts. I'm really determined to articulate my thoughts in a clear way--so that you all can understand where I'm coming from. I have a lot of advice just bubbling at the surface, but I don't want to hit you all at once. 


If I give you a piece of the puzzle each day, when it's all put together in the end, it will feel more meaningful! And with that, please stay tuned!