When His Pull Is Too Strong

If the following situation applies to you, get ready for the hurt. Get ready for a tiny voice of denial to emerge from within you. Unfortunately, my own heart hurts as I write this. And now, I need to spread the pain around because once we get past this, we'll be better people. Stronger people. He's so not the one. But, you continue to feel like he could be, right? Every time you think you've forgotten about him, he shows up. You've read posts like the IV Drip (click ME). You know not to dwell on someone who's not the one. You know the facts, and yet, "his pull is just too strong". Well, here's the recently discovered truth:

The person who won't let go is you.

Sure, he might text you and try to talk to you. Maybe he's just one of those guys who stares. But if he's still on your mind 24/7, then that's on you. There is no guy out there that has a pull stronger than your willpower. There is no guy that can outwit your determination to not fall in love with him. Are you still with me?

This post is especially dedicated to the women who think it's a guy's fault when regarding why she is still hung up on him. If that's you, read or reread The Two Way Tango (click ME). A guy cannot capture your heart without your permission.


Finally, there are some girls who just feel as if he could be the one someday, though he's not the one now. This guy is a douchebag, jerk, manipulator, or some other icky riff on a stereotype that treats you with just enough kindness to get away with it. That way, when your friends say, "He's just not a good person," you can say, "Well, he's nice to me". When someone points out the bad in him, you're always ready to combat it with the little good there is.

He definitely has ulterior motives. Even if your very dreams are telling saying that he'll change into a better man, you cannot believe it will happen. There is a .001% of that ever happening (read ME). Nothing good will ever come from believing that he is your ideal man in progress. Your heart will pick up on that and you will fall hard.


Steps you can take to get over his pull? 

1. Treat him like a #1 on the How Much I Like A Guy Meter (see all the levels HERE). That means there can be no hostility involved. You don't just get to hate him. It's not his fault that he has a strong magnet. That's just in his frosting (click ME) and you're simply attracted to it. No big deal.

2. Stop checking his facebook. Even if it's just to look at the pictures or see what girls are writing on his wall. That's not something you'd do on a regular basis for anyone who you don't dislike. Cutting this activity out will just make it easier to focus on more important things: like your own self-development.

3. Work on your own self-development. Tai Chi, Anyone? (click ME). Enough said.


Lesson learned? His pull isn't so strong after all. Your mind is capable of many incredible things. It's time to finally garner that potential.


Love,


Zabrinah