What Are Training Wheels?
Training wheels are guys who only show up for a temporary appearance. They keep you steady, most often by teaching you through their existence. They show you how to deal with something in your life. They always come at the right time: when you need them. As you advance through romantic relationships and the love problems that accompany them, you'll find that you need some assistance. Your friends won't know the answers to all your questions. And even if they do, you probably won't believe them. Training wheels are living proof--they might reveal a crucial strategy in the game of love.
Your training wheels will also stop you from a dangerous fall. If you're wobbling down the wrong path, they'll be around to correct you. They'll alter whatever mindset you had before meeting them. These guys keep you upright and remind you to be careful. Maybe they tell you slow down and take a break. Perhaps you need to speed up and get on that bicycle more often. Because they're such lovely guys, they cause you to go through all things concerning love with confidence.
Training wheels can be necessary. They humble you. For example, you used to believe that true love didn't exist or that good guys without ulterior motives aren't present in this modern day. Without doing much, a guy could completely change your mind, just by being a part of your life. That makes him your training wheels. He arrived to support you, but also to make you more dynamic, stronger.
Think of the movie, 500 Days of Summer. That's the perfect example of two training wheels in a relationship together. It really is one of my favorite relationship movies, by the way. Within the first 20 minutes, you learn that Tom believes that love is the best thing ever. He daydreams about romantic encounters--and practically problem-free, head-over-heels-in-love relationships. Summer on the other hand doesn't even believe in true love. She doesn't see herself getting married or staying in a long-term relationship ... ever. Now, don't they sound like a match.
If you keep reading this section, I'm going to spoil the rest of the film for you. Just skip ahead if you still plan on watching 500 Days of Summer for the first time. It's wonderful when you don't know how the plot will work itself out.
SPOILER
By the end of the movie, Tom learns that love isn't always easy. And Summer finds another guy that she fell for in an instant. She gets engaged to him pretty quickly. Needless to say, both Summer and Tom needed to interact with each other in order to learn important values: true love does exist, but it takes a lot of hard work and the right couple in order to reach success.
When You Abuse Them
We haven't dealt with the repercussions of training wheels quite yet. The truth is, they're going to go away. You don't see too many grown women riding bicycles with their training wheels still attached, do you? And if you did, it would kind of look pathetic, right? Keep that in mind.
In the words of my best friend: "Training wheels are excellent transitions, but now I need to learn how to ride without them".
A lot of girls cling to trainings wheels right after getting out of a relationship. And they never learn how to actually get over what hurt them in the first place. The guy you are using as your training wheels also has a true love waiting out there for him. Unfortunately, that person is not you.
Ultimately, you need to find success and happiness in love, in singleness, in marriage, in dating--wherever--without the training wheels. That means, once they've imparted the lesson, you can let them go. In fact, you MUST.
Love,
Zabrinah
I just found this article...wow! Great! Totally relates to how I'm feeling right now. I need to learn how to be a bit more observant and reflective, though. I'm starting to learn that reflecting is very important -- but how do I know the difference between "dwelling on the past," and educational reflection?
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