Too Scared To Get Out There

You cannot be perfect when it comes to guys. You will always have the capacity to make mistakes, however you will learn from them. You'll find yourself calling them your growth areas. You will be able to look at what other women have done incorrectly, and take that knowledge into your own life. However, you cannot achieve any of these good, wonderful things, unless you're willing to get off the bench, remove yourself from the sidelines, and join the game. 

I'm not perfect. The banner of this blog clearly states, "your everyday girl, talking about guys." Yes, I converse with you through emails, the comment forms (which I have temporarily taken down) and the simple interactions we all observe in reality.


How To Get Yourself Out There

Here's the thing: In no way am I going to encourage you to run around, trying to make several mistakes. You still have to be smart. Here are some ways to get rid of that reluctance to get out there and see what happens:

Step One: Know that you're imperfect. This is about your mindset. It must be altered for a change to occur. You must remember that each day you have a clean slate. Things might go well, but if you slip and fall (for example, you texted back that Manipulator or spent all day thinking about a crush), you have to take note of it and move on. Acknowledge. Accept. Allow.

Step Two: Let go of all regrets. This is the second alteration to your mindset. Stop saying, "I wish I hadn't dated so-and-so", or "My love life would have been better if I had ....". Nothing is an accident. You made those mistakes for a reason. They are now growth areas and you must live with them. Do not be limited for impaired by them. It doesn't make sense to relive the horror of an ex everyday. But, take the time to acknowledge of all the useful information you accumulated in your journal. All that stuff--it's priceless.

Step Three: Stop putting yourself on a pedestal. Yep. I said it. Just because you don't make as many mistakes as your female friends, doesn't make you better than them. Just because you write a blog that gives advice, doesn't make you more evolved or even more knowledgeable than anybody else.

Do you realize how easy it is to stand on the sidelines and never get your heart involved? Sure, you can watch everybody else fight, break up, make up, and break up again. It might be enjoyable, but it's not in your right to judge them--ESPECIALLY when you've never stepped foot on that field.

It makes no sense to be afraid to get out there.

Anything that happens to your heart is 100% mendable.

If you recall the article, Indestructible (click ME), your heart can recover stronger than it was before injury.

Step Four: Live. I don't know how to explain it any better. I struggle with this step everyday. I like to observe. Maybe you do, as well. There's nothing wrong with that. However, you have to be a test subject as well. You need to be your own guinea pig. Things might not always go as you plan in relationships, however, you will always be learning and growing as long as you're living.

This is a journey of self-discovery. There's nothing to discover in love, unless you're open to it. Leave fear behind. What has it ever done for you?


Love,

Zabrinah