PDA: Public Displays of Awfulness?

We all know that PDA stands for Public Displays of Affection. You kiss him. You hug him. You hold his hand. That's okay right? But what if you're kissing him three times per minute in front of all your friends? What if you're playing hand tag? You two can't go five seconds without touching each other or missing the other person's touch.
How much PDA is too much?

Putting On A Show

Sometimes the only explanation is that couples have to put on a show for their friends and random strangers. It can be quite disgusting and it never proves their point. And what is that point, exactly? All this creepy, gooey, touchy-feely, kissing is to convince you that everything's perfect. Every time my friend makes out with her boyfriend in front of me, I assume quite the opposite.

You should never be more affectionate in public than you are in private. In fact, you should be less. So why do they do it?

They are compensating for something that just isn't there. That could include many things from a lack of legitimate intimacy to not having anything in common. Both are prevalent reasons for excessive PDA.

Other signs of compensation:

1. Your facebook relationship status. You can always tell when somebody is ready to put on a show. She'll change her status the first INSTANT she can. Then she'll find a way to attract people to her page so that they can comment on. I saw a girl who made a formspring just so that she could answer the question: Do you have a boyfriend? And this was within the same hour she changed her facebook relationship status. Oh dear.

2. Moving too fast and publicizing it. People who put on a show rush to tell their friends/family about their new relationship. More often than not, that relationship is moving way too fast. This is due to desperation and not true love.

3. A HUGE change in personality/behavior. She's just not your friend anymore when she's with him. She's gone through a major personality overhaul. Perhaps, she's being a hypocrite. You can recall years ago when she used to complain with you about PDA. Now, look what she's doing.

If you really like someone, then there is no valid reason to put on a show. If you were secure in the relationship, then you would trust that everyone would be able to see that. And if they couldn't, then who cares? It wouldn't bother you.


Bitter

You must remember it takes two to tango. There are two sides to every situation. Sure, you have never put on a show, but are you bitter? Single and bitter. Do you frown at anyone holding hands? Do you have a short fuse every time you're the third wheel? Does a super cute couple make your eye twitch? Are you that one person in your friend group who is ALWAYS complaining about too much PDA? Do you gag at pet names like "honey bunch" or "sugar lips"? You might be bitter.

I have to admit it. I am one of those people who looks away when a couple is about to kiss. Not at a wedding or during a movie, but if it's a real life couple that wants to smooch a lot, I won't be looking. Why? It feels like something that should be done privately. Also, if someone's putting on a show for me, I'd rather not give them the satisfaction of being an audience member. I don't look at them in order to spite them. Still, I know that I have been bitter.

Bitterness comes from jealousy. So, it's awesome if you can eliminate it. All you have to do is change your mindset. Use some rational thought. There's no reason to be jealous of people putting on a show. They were never as secure in their singleness as you are right now. However, it's definitely possible to be in a relationship and STILL be bitter about other people's PDA. It's a daily struggle, my friends. Evaluate your own situation and behave accordingly.

A simple cure for bitterness is to find a couple that you totally don't mind. Observe and admire them in their simplicity. They can be your inspiration. I have plenty or role-model couples. I need plenty just to keep me sane.

Maybe you've been on both sides of the equation or just the bitter one. Either way, I want you to take one thing away from this article: No matter who you are, there is no way that your public displays of affection should outweigh your private displays. In a healthy relationship, both participants are comfortable and at ease with each other in front of friends. They don't need to emphasize how much they love each other, because everyone already knows that. It's subtle, but it's there.

Love,

Zabrinah