Wondering why you've never had a serious relationship? Never been in love? Hopefully, I have the answer for you. Your love life isn't as active as your friends' because you don't go through a series of needless boyfriends. You don't date for the sake of dating.
What exactly are needless boyfriends?
They are the guys that you didn't let go (How To Let Go of The Guy right HERE). Here's an example/quote from The Guy No One Else Wants:
"I’ve only ever liked a Guy No One Else Wants because of desperation. Or boredom. And those times when my self-esteem and confidence were low. Honestly, there was nothing attracting me to him other than the fact that he was available to crush on when I didn't have anything better to do. In retrospect, I see that as a huge waste of time. I didn’t have anything better to do??! That’s ridiculous. But, that’s what I thought at the time.
I’ve learned that desperation shows you the capabilities of your mind. It’s very easy to force yourself to like someone you don’t actually like. If you think about him long enough, you’ll start daydreaming about him (read me). And if you talk about him with your friends enough, your heart and body will respond with sweaty palms and a racing heart when he comes around.
Ultimately, you shouldn’t enter a relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. This situation rarely works out. One of two things could happen with The Guy No One Else Wants:
1. He turns out to be a good friend and a cool person.
2. You find out why no one else wants him. He could be a jerk. Or maybe he doesn’t want to be in a relationship. There could be many reasons.
There’s nothing wrong with trying to be friends with this type of guy, unless you already know he wouldn’t be a good friend to you. In that case, why bother?"
There are a lot of us who could get a boyfriend if we wanted to. At the snap of a finger. Sure, it's true. But, not necessarily a good boyfriend. And if he's not a good person, why date him? Why add someone to your life, that you'll just have to remove later? You could either nip it in the bud now, or wait a few months when it's much harder.
So, how does dominant energy come into play?
You can also get a needless boyfriend by pursuing him and pursuing him and pursuing him until he finally gives in. That doesn't sound ideal, does it? You did all the work, and he may not even like you on a romantic level! The hardest part is that it'll be your fault when the relationship doesn't work out. Yes, it's a two way tango, and he didn't HAVE to say yes to you. But, when you force something to happen, you have to live with the consequences. These are usually the instances when one partner just happens to "fall out of love" with the other after dedicated years of marriage.
We place ourselves in this doomed situations, and then blame the guy when it doesn't work out. I'm guilty of this. However, at the end of the day, he didn't seek you out. He didn't choose you. If you're going to trot along this path of dominant energy, make sure that you are a person who is very comfortable with rejection. You need to embrace rejection just like all the guys who put themselves out there on a regular basis. For every girl there is asking a guy out, there are 10,000 guys asking girls out. I've chosen to be one of the girls on the receiving end.
If you're currently the dominant energy in a romantic relationship, my only advice to you is:
"Be careful what you wish for...."
Love,
Zabrinah
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