How To Let Go Of The Guy

You could consider this post to be a follow-up to Your #1 Deal Breaker (right HERE).

He's not a bad guy. He doesn't abuse you. Overall, he's a nice person, however he's STILL not the one for you. This is not one of those times when you continue to date him just because you might not get something better. He knows how to love well, but just not you.

How To Let Go Of The Guy Who Doesn't Love You Well

Before you go further, let me give you a refresher of Frosting & Cake (read ME). It will make it easier to understand why you still have to let go of some perfectly wonderful, nice, gentleman who is interested in you. Here's when you have to:

When he's not your type of cake. Frosting will and can always change, but if your preference is chocolate cake, it's going to be chocolate ... FOREVER. Of course, you'll be into different variations of chocolate cakes (think of how many there are!), but, you cannot make yourself love red velvet. I always tell you that you have power over your mind, however you never want to use that power to settle.

If you alter your preferred romantic foundation, then it just means that your insecurities are acting up. You fear that if you let this good guy go, another one will never show up. You're afraid that you'll end up alone, living in regret. I'm here to tell you that these fears will never be realized. The only thing you should be afraid of is staying with a guy that is not your type of cake. Because guess what? Your type of cake WILL SHOW UP, and you won't be available. This is what leads people to cheat and be unfaithful. This is where various individuals suffer through unbearable heartbreak. Don't be one of them. Learn how to let people go.

Remember this:

Someone better is ALWAYS coming along. 

I can legitimately guarantee this.

If you are still having trouble letting go of the guy who doesn't love YOU well, stop texting him back. Stop reciprocating interest. Read Stop Texting Him Back over HERE. 

Rule of Thumb

If someone isn't ecstatic to be a part of you life, let him go. 

How do I know if he's ecstatic or not?

An ecstatic person will text you and call you. He will never ignore you or leave you confused. You won't find yourself completely bummed out because he didn't have time for you. Someone who wants to be a part of your life will not leave you wondering if he's your friend or not. You'll be so sure, you won't even question it.,

You must know that some people are only meant to be in your life for a short-time: an appearance, a season, whatever you call it. While I have you sitting down right now, list 5 people who have entered your life for a season. They taught you one thing and then disappeared. Have you thought of 5 people yet? Now, you have to know that a season is not literal. These short-term people that teach you lessons about yourself and other human beings may be in your lives for 4 years. However, you still cannot mix them up with long-term people. You cannot place long-term expectations on them.


I recently revisited the movie, He's Just Not That Into You, and came across some lovely realizations.

Here's the scene:

GIGI

So, now what? I'm just supposed to run from every guy that doesn't like me? 

ALEX

Uhh--yeah.

GIGI

There's not going to be anyone left.

Isn't that amazing? I believe that A LOT of women think like that. I used to think like that. Just two nights ago, I tried to discourage my good friend from writing on a guy's wall on facebook. She really wanted to see how he was because he was ignoring her and simply not as excited to see her anymore. I told her, first of all, not to do that with a guy she likes. It's dominant energy (click ME). The guy went on one date with her and then never called back. That means he's not ecstatic to be a part of her life. That's okay. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship with you. Not everyone wants to be your friend. You've just got to let people go.

If you push and push and push someone to be in a relationship with you, how do you honestly think it will work out? He will resent you or break up with you once he's had enough.


Love,

Zabrinah