My Story
August of 2010 was an AMAZING month for me:
~I woke up each morning at 5AM.
~I journaled everyday.
~I exercised 6 times a week.
~I ate only raw foods.
~I blogged meaningfully on a frequent basis.
~I connected with my readers and other bloggers.
~My email inbox was completely under control.
~I wasn't boy-crazy.
How did it all start? One morning, I woke up at 4:30AM and just started doing all of this. It was a snap decision. No real preparation or easing into it. For a long time I knew I wanted to do these things. I just initiated and followed through.
What was my over-arching goal? I wanted to buy a new pair of expensive shoes. No joking, that is the truth. I wanted to spend a lot of money on shoes that would "change my life", and then feel like I deserved them. The shoes were the incentive. They were the prize. I exercised so I would deserve them. I ate raw food, picturing myself purchasing them. My best friend held me accountable. If I did not feel like blogging one day, she would say:
"Fine. No shoes for you!" Somehow, those words would cut me and ultimately bring out the motivation to have a good, flawless month. At the time, I believed that the overall benefit would be the new shoes and the new confidence to walk in those shoes. Little did I know that August would actually change my life in a different way than I had imagined. Accomplishing those goals led me to eat better and be a more productive, self-aware person overall. I gained confidence in my writing and in other aspects of my life.
Ever since that month, I have been trying to relive everything that happened. I have been reaching for the same results. Guess what? I keep failing... over and over again. In November, I tried going raw twice; I couldn't make it longer than a week. There was no real passion behind my actions. I lacked drive.
Recreating August was not happening. But, I continued to attempt to make every single month better than August. That sounds ambitious, right? Nothing is wrong with excess ambition, however, I did not work to fulfill it. I would say, "Okay, December. You are going to be MUCH BETTER than August." I would add new sub-goals/activities that included cutting television down to once a week and no more watching Youtube videos. After two days, I would go back to old habits. I wouldn't even come close to August.
Your Story
What are you trying to live up to? I have been trying to recreate August for nearly 4 months now. What are you trying to recreate?
Perhaps you had a wonderful relationship years ago, but it ran its course. But, with each potential relationship, you try to make it live up to something that is already gone. You compare new guys to the old ones--every first date, to past first dates. If this describes you, then it could explain why your new relationships aren't working. You are trying to recreate something that cannot be recreated.
Ever wonder why television spin-offs often fail? They were trying to live up to the original. But, no one ever watched That 80's Show. Golden Palace (based on the Golden Girls), Joey (based on the Friends), and The Ropers (based on Three's Company) are all other spin-offs that didn't make it past two seasons. Why? Because the original magic just wasn't there. It couldn't be recreated.
Oprah Winfrey's talk show is closing and she's beginning her new network. Recently, she explained that she isn't going to try to make OWN (Oprah Winfrey Network) better or more successful than her show. She is beginning something new and different--not trying to recreate something that is over, no matter how good it was.
The Moral of the Stories
How do you find success like you once had it? How do you recreate August without actually recreating?
After one chapter in your life comes to a close, another one begins. Don't look back at that last chapter and copy & paste. That's plagiarizing! You will get nowhere if you don't try something new: something bold and significant to you.
Begin A New Project
Forget about August: Do not put too much focus on your last success. Learn from it. Find inspiration from it. But always remember that you are working on a completely different project. It is not comparable to the last--thereby eliminating the urge to make it better. You are no longer allowed to compare.
Establish a goal: an overarching one that encompasses all the activities you are committed to execute. What are you working for? It does not have to be the perfect thing in the end. Remember that the shoes were my final goal. Yours does not have to be something materialistic, but it does have to bring about a STRONG RESPONSE when someone else threatens to take it away from you. That is a goal worth fighting for.
Be Creative: If you are working on your self-confidence like you have been meaning to for years, then do something out of the box. Make your own homemade facial masks and stick to them until you see results. Change your hair and take a whole lot of pictures. If you are creative in a way you weren't before, you won't have to worry about recreating or imitating.
Get A Support System: After you have all the other steps in place, you will need one person to hold you accountable for completing this project. It is helpful if this person is working on a project of their own as well. Every time you want to give up, your support system should say: "Fine. Okay. But, no ____ for you!" That blank refers to your overarching goal, and if it's a good one, you will be invigorated to work more efficiently. That sentence works without fail. You won't want to give up when your goal is at stake. You won't slack off when your precious prize is at someone else's mercy. This is even more effective when you are the support system for your support system--when you hold his/her goal in your hands. This will keep from feeling completely powerless.
You have all you need in order to find success. Now, use it. No more recreating what you once had. Let's begin new projects--specify new goals and achieve them!
Love,
Zabrinah
P.S. I never bought those shoes at the end of August.
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