The IV Drip

Looking back at past relationships, does it seem like the guys in your life have been able to move on a lot quicker than you have? There are some guys who can freely and healthily transition from one relationship to the next, without holding onto any baggage. But, what do you do when he is onto his fifth relationship since the break up and you are still grieving? Firstly, I recommend that you read 10 Ways To Stop Missing Him (right HERE), and secondly, I advise that you keep reading. 

A public speaker once said, "Men cry hard, but not long." You need to believe this is true of every guy you have ever dated and every guy you may possibly date in the future. He will cry hard, but not long when pain enters his life. 

What does that quote mean, exactly?

If you are still crushing on someone you dated five years ago, you need to realize that you left his mind about a week or so after the relationship ended. He did not have to get angry or hostile or talk about you to all of his guy friends, he just let you go. You cannot continue to pine over somebody who has let you go. It is final. 

You need to believe that for the guy you like, once the relationship ended, he allowed himself to feel all the pain he needed to in one swift moment (a week, or even a day, however long it takes...). Then he places you back into the vague area of: "Oh, I don't dislike this person."

Do Not Feel Bad

When you see an ex-whatever with a new person on his arm, there is no reason to feel bad about yourself. You must assume that he cried hard over you, but not long. He is not still thinking about you in the back of his mind; guys will always get somebody else. You can do the same. 

The IV Drip

The same public speaker said that women (and possibly some men, too!) "nurture pain". When he said that, I could not help but imagine an IV bag full of pain. You are on a metaphorical hospital bed and you just let the pain drip into your system, year after year. Every time you try to get over a guy, you mourn all the good times with him, and allow yourself to nurture that pain.

Well, I am telling you to stop! Face the pain the moment it comes knocking on your door. Feel it, and conquer it! Do not let it drip and drip and drip, hindering you from living your life. Do not avoid the pain after a bad experience. Do not go under it or around it. Stay in the present and just get it over with!

The Take-Home Message

In a way, I am telling all you lovely ladies (and guy readers, I see you out there!) to cry hard, but not long. Every time life brings you pain, feel it. Find a way to embrace it FULLY so you can move on.

This works remarkably in situations that are not related to love, as well. Each time, you have an embarrassing moment, or fail at one of your goals, cry really hard about it, but not for long. Do not relive the experience without learning something new for the next time you encounter the same situation.


Love,


Zabrinah


Next Up: The Two Way Tango