A Standstill

You’re not in a relationship yet, but you like him. And there’s a good chance that he likes you. The chemistry’s amazing. The flirting is to die for.
Everyone can see it: your friends/his friends/coworkers/teachers/strangers. People are always commenting on how you and this guy should be together. They’re always asking, “What’s going on between you two?” And your answer’s always the same. “Nothing. Nothing’s going on.”


So, why isn’t anything going on? It seems as if the two of you have the right ingredients in order to start a relationship—or at least to get to know each other. But here’s the problem: He won’t ask you out. And you won’t ask him out. Neither of you is willing to take it to the next level. Neither of you has the courage to follow your inhibitions when they seem correct. There’s no progress. You’re at a standstill.

This is no way to fall in love. Under circumstances like these (when he’s not a jerk, player, cheater) there should be some progress. You can learn something new about him everyday. He can learn something about you with each conversation. But before you begin your quest to get to know him, here are a few things you should take into consideration.


~ 2 Questions To Stifle The Excuses (a previous post): What does he provide for me and can I get that elsewhere?


~ Is he the type of guy I should fall for?

~Am I honestly ready for a relationship? Or are you just lonely?

 ~Would we be good as just friends? (No matter what you and the whole world thinks, he might like you as a friend because you’re really awesome and cool. Never see this as a setback. It’s a compliment. And who doesn’t want a friend that admires you?)



Are you at a standstill, but you don’t know why?

Fear might be holding you back. Ask yourself this: If I had no fear, what would I do tomorrow?

Would you ask him out? Would you pursue a friendship? Would you give up on him and join the circus? It depends on you and your situation. What is fear robbing you from?


Hey, Zabrinah! I’m not the only one to blame. Fear’s holding him back too!

Probably. But, he’s not reading this blog right now. You are. And if you really like him, and you believe that the two of you are compatible, why not spend more time with him? You don’t have to ask him out if you’re not comfortable with that (we’re all slightly terrified of rejection, and subsequently mortification). But, you can’t give him the cold shoulder because he didn’t get down on one knee and beg to be your man.

If he's not interested in spending time with you or getting to know you, then he's not the one for you! Problem solved. Move on.

If he is interested in a budding friendship ....

Let me introduce the term, talking (I just learned what it meant last year!).

Talking: “When two people like each other and are getting to know each other better, but are still single and not ‘going out’ yet” (thank you Urban Dictionary!).

When you’re walking through the park and all you see are couples holding hands, feeding the birds, and jumping around in fountains, it’s hard to remember that romantic relationships aren’t the only things that provide happiness!



Make sure this idle relationship—or almost relationship—isn’t the main focus of your life, or even your day. It will drain you of your energy. One way to defeat a standstill is to redirect your focus from it. Instead of figuring out ways to impress him, concentrate on having a productive day. Set a new personal goal and accomplish it. Find a way to be happy and feel blessed when you’re single!



Love,


Zabrinah


***
If you enjoyed this post, please share it (twitter, facebook, digg ... there are many options!!), become a follower (bloglovin' or Google Friend Connect), and subscribe by RSS or email. I really appreciate the support!