The Sad Puppy

Z-note: Hey, people. I need to get back to posting daily! Or even more than once a day. That’s when I’m happiest. Writing truly does make me happy, but it’s also very stressful. When self-doubt comes into play, it’s difficult to push through it. However, I’m back. And I don’t see myself giving up on this website, not even when I’m old, withered, and happily married! Also, if you made a request for a future post in the comments, THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’ll get right to it. Keep them coming! I’m having so much fun.
You all inspire me.



A really good friend of mine told me about The Sad Puppy the other day. Let me tell you about it.

There’s this guy you don’t want to like, but there are aspects of his life story that are just so sad. You know that you should not be with him romantically. He has issues. But once you learn where they are derived from, it’s hard not to feel like: You poor thing, I understand.

How else are you supposed to respond to a sad puppy?

Maybe he told you that he’s suffering from depression. Or maybe you found out about a history of abuse or other dark secrets from a friend, from facebook, or from some other social website. Because of his sad past, instead of a bad boy, a flirt, a cheater, a jerk, or a player, you see a sad puppy. You want to comfort him. Be there for him. And let him confide in you. But, you can’t forget the complexity of a human being (read that article here). He can’t just be one thing. Yes, he is a sad puppy. But, he’s also a man that you don’t want to like. You can’t let the sad stuff eclipse all the convincing reasons why you cannot date him.



How? You need to tap into the dual reality of being someone’s friend (only if they are also a great friend back to you) and resisting to fall for the sad puppy. You have to see him as both the puppy and the player. Or the puppy and the jerk. Step back. Be objective. And see him as a human being.



The Dual Reality


Before you pick that puppy up, hug him to your chest, and take him home, take a moment to STOP and THINK about it. How many others are picking him up and spending the night with him when you’re not around? Think about Reciprocity (read it here!). Does this puppy care about you in the same way? Does he talk to all his friends about you? Does he sit around and figure out ways to make you happy or solve your problems? Think about the consequences. If you do decide to help the puppy, and allow him into your life, will he respect you? Or will he damage all things you cherish? Though he’s sad, is he dangerous? Could his presence be detrimental to your wellbeing?


You romantically go after the sad puppies because:


1. You want a guy who’ll confide in you.

2. You’re searching for a reason to love a guy that isn’t right for you.

3. You have a hero complex problem (see that post here)

4. All of the above.


Just remember. Guys aren’t actually puppies, whether they’re sad, cute, abandoned or whatever.... They’re not dogs. They’re not animals. You can’t treat them like crap and then demand respect. You can’t make them love you. You can’t make them want you romantically. You can’t train them. There’s no changing him (read .001% here).



A good guy will respect you because he has a high opinion of you (click here for 11 Ways To Gain His Respect). He will be loyal because he doesn’t want to spend time with anyone else. He will be reliable because he hates to let you down. And when he does act like a sad puppy because something bad happened, you’ll be able to comfort him without the repercussions.


Love,


Zabrinah



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