Overreactions

Thank you Sarah for the question that inspired this post! Check out her blog here.

Have you ever seen celebrity-obssessed fans scream for Robert Pattinson or chase after Justin Bieber? Of course you have. As a culture, we're so used to it. It almost seems normal. But, what if this was how people reacted to everyday interactions? What if you need to catch your breath every time a cute guy speaks to you? What if you faint each time a guy at school touches you? What if you go crazy, screaming inside, when the guy at work waves at you from across the room?

It happens to the best of us. We overreact.

Before you read the rest of this post, you should probably know that I am the queen of overreactions. Especially when it comes to the guys I like and the guys I’m trying not to scare away. Before we figure out how to avoid overreacting, let’s look at the various ways it can happen.

Ways You Might Irrationally Overreact


Externally


1. You’re unable to speak coherently when he’s around—when he talks to you, or when he compliments you.

2. You ramble.

3. You get jealous of other girls or guys around him.

4. You get mad when he doesn’t remember stuff about you (like where you’re from) or when he asks a question you’ve already answered before.

5. You hug him for too long.

6. You’re too clingy (you’ve memorized his schedule, so that you can keep showing up).

7. You’re extra mean to him because you’re overcompensating for your lack of game.



Internally


1. You squeal or jump for joy when he contacts you on facebook (i.e. writes on your wall, pokes you, sends you a message, or shows up in your notifications at all….). The same thing applies with text messages and phone calls.

2. You consider how long you should wait to reply to his messages. You ask your friends if one hour is long enough. Maybe two hours, or you supposed to wait three days?

3. You put in way too much thought to what you say to him and how you say it. Even to the simplest of questions, like “How was your day?” or “What are you doing later?”.



There’s only one easy way to avoid overreactions: Be a Level 1 on the “How Much I Like A Guy” Meter. See all the levels here.



How To Be A Level 1:

An excerpt from the original post:

“Level 1: You don’t dislike him. He’s okay. He’s just another person in your life.

You want to be a successful Level 1 before anything else. You want to take the levels slowly, not meet him—and five seconds later, jump to a 2.5. That’s not healthy. And you don’t want to see the guy you won’t fall in love with and drop to a –2.5 either. Because the negative numbers are even more unhealthy. They’re signs of denial.”

Aim for #1.”

Not disliking someone can effectively pull you out of the overreaction zone and bring you back to reality. But, being a Level 1 for someone you’ve previously had feelings for (or currently have feelings for) takes some serious skill, persistence, and determination. You have to know that you can do it. You have to be 100% sure that you can treat this guy just like anyone else.



When you feel your heart creeping up to a Level 3 with a guy that’s not right for you, acknowledge and accept the situation. And then, allow your mind—your common sense—to redirect your focus to something much more productive.



Love,


Zabrinah



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