Oops, I Did It Again...

Click the links within the post to get more info on that specific topic. EDIT: Apparently I've been misspelling "Oops" as "Opps." SORRY!



How Not To Fall Into …. the same old patterns.


As humans, we’re extremely tradition-oriented. Many of the things we say, the things we do, the things we wear, and even the type of person we fall for becomes a part of the routine. Everything’s consistently customary. You’re forming, developing, and adhering to habits.

But what if your habits are harmful and destructive? There are only so many times you can say: “I flirted with another bad boy,” or “I called him sobbing after he broke up with me,” or even “I ran over to his apartment at 3:47 AM.” and top it off with an, “Oops, I did it again.”


That won’t cut it anymore.

Let’s stop with the barrage of excuses. I’m very guilty of falling into awful patterns and eventually becoming comfortable with them. But we need to take responsibility for our repetitive actions. It’s time to learn how to break a bad habit:



1. Acknowledge, Accept, and Allow. If you’ve read previous posts, you’ll recognize this mantra. Acknowledge that you have a bad habit. Accept the fact that it exists. When a jerk comes around for another battle with your heart, don’t tell yourself: “I’ll see him just this one last time.” Finally, Allow your mind to redirect to a more productive habit.

2. Find a support system. Your friends probably hate it when you fall for players. They’re just as frustrated as you. Use them as fuel to drive you towards your goal!

3. Don’t talk about him. When we start to like someone, whether he’s right for us or not, we tend to bring him up in conversations unnecessarily. You and your best friend could be talking about getting new cell phones or trying to save money, and then all of a sudden, a particular bad boy becomes the subject of the conversation. Stop doing this. Your heart may be aching for you to mention him and spend the whole evening talking about how hot he is, but acknowledge, accept, and allow yourself to focus on what the conversation’s really about.

4. Listen to the alarm. You know that guilty feeling you get after you make a mistake? After he insulted you, but you still gave him your number? When it’s time to say, “Oops, I did it again,” that's you’re conscience speaking up—sending you an alarm. You have a choice to listen to it or ignore it. I’m learning not to brush that feeling off. Because soon, you won't hear the alarms anymore. You’ll be heartbroken and you won’t know why. Yes, you made a mistake, and you need to recognize that.

5. Don’t dwell on the mistakes. After you’ve recognized them, forgive yourself. Use the failure as a learning experience. You’ll succeed next time.

6. Give yourself some time. It takes 21 days to create a new habit. Allow yourself (at least) a month to break one.

7. Remember that you have complete command over your mind. Because it’s true. You can quite literally do anything you put your mind to. No one’s forcing you to go out with a player (hopefully), so don’t succumb to his charm.



A lot of us know how to identify jerks, players, and abusers of sorts, BUT we often don’t do anything about it. It’s so unfortunate to make a mistake and refuse to change from it. We have to learn a lesson from the experience. We need to break the habit right now.



Love,



Zabrinah



***
If you enjoyed this post, please share it (twitter, facebook, digg ... there are many options!!), become a follower (bloglovin' or Google Friend Connect), and subscribe by RSS or email. I really appreciate the support!