Mr. Random & His Issues

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Have you ever liked a guy who was really random? And not in a cute way, (like, “He just bought me a bracelet! How random!”), I mean … he’s flaky, fickle, and awfully unpredictable.


Is he like this?


On Sunday: He doesn’t respond to your calls/texts.

On Monday: He’s staring at you like an adorable, lovesick puppy.

On Tuesday: He ignores you.

On Wednesday: He flirts with other girls.

On Thursday: He asks if you’re mad at him.

On Friday: He’s all touchy and flirty with you.

On Saturday: He compliments you/confesses his undying, burning, love for you.


And week by week, he switches it up. Each action is interchangeable. Every day brings a new surprise. When someone treats you this way, how are you supposed to respond?

I first introduced Mr. Random and his inconsistencies in the previous post, but why is he this way?


I’ll tell you why:

He Has Issues That Go Deeper Than Just You.


That’s it. Really. Stop blaming yourself and look at his life. If he’s rude and inconsiderate, there’s got to be a profound reason why. You are not responsible for his behavior. When someone loves you one day, but doesn’t treat you like it the next, it could be because:



1. He doesn’t actually like you or have respect for you at all.

2. He’s using you in order to fulfill something that he’s not getting enough of (i.e. attention, love …). The problem with this one is that once he gets the attention he wants from his parent, or love from another girl, he doesn’t need you anymore. You’re his back-up girl. His second, or sometimes, fifth choice.

3. He likes you, but not enough to want to be with you. This one is always hurts, but if you can avoid falling in love with him, you two might be okay friends.

4. He’s with you out of convenience as he waits for something better to come along.

5. He’s using past heartbreaks and past relationships to justify his behavior with you.

6. He’s insecure.



He may have a combination of these, just one, or something else altogether. But now that you know he has issues, you must also remember that it’s not your job to fix them. You’re not his personal therapist. At most, you are his friend. If not, you can become his friend. But if he’s damaging your self-esteem, then you cannot fall in love with him. Find the difference between caring for him and being in love with him. There’s a big gap there. I would implement the Sibling Rule, where you see him as your brother.



I’ve learned that you cannot change someone. He needs to make decisions on his own.



I hardly know him. We’re not friends. And he’s really inconsistent all the time.

My best advice is RUN. If he isn't even a good friend, you need to let him go. His issues are too much for you to handle. Run far, far away because you might just be falling for somebody who flirts with everybody. And those relationships are never fun. You are so special. You deserve someone who will be there for you all the time. He needs to like you everyday.



Love,


Zabrinah



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