Jekyll & Hyde

He’s kind of two-faced, huh? Both of you are having a lovely time when you tease him just a little too much or you ask him a question that suddenly sets him off. Maybe you didn’t do anything at all. But now, his behavior has completely shifted. He’s overly defensive. He’s yelling or withdrawn, accusatory or self-deprecating—no matter how he’s acting—the truth is apparent: he has a Jekyll & Hyde personality. And you have no idea how to cope with it.

Let’s delve into the different split personalities some guys have.

The Guy That Ignores You


Raise your hand if a guy has ever ignored you? Yep, my hand’s up.

And did it happen without warning? You were good friends before, and now he won’t even say, “Hi.” He barely wants to talk to you, and when you do initiate a conversation, it’s awkward.


I’m not referring to a situation like I-Think-He-Might-Be-Ignoring-Me-Because-His-Good-Morning-High-Five-Doesn’t-Feel-The-Same. I’m talking about him turning his head away when you see him in the hallway. Or leaving when you walk into the room. When you ask your friends about him, you get answers anywhere from “You’re making it up,” to “He probably likes you.”



It’s time to identify the guy that suddenly ignores you as having a Jekyll & Hyde personality. He’s two-faced, at best. There’s a very, very good chance that he doesn’t have a huge crush on you. And if he does, this is an awful way to show it. You deserve much better. I have ignored guys I’ve liked in the past, but only because I was being immature. Ignoring someone over the smallest things indicates undeveloped social skills. It signifies over-sensitivity and misdirected feelings. I’ve only ignored guys because I was insecure about something.

When a guy ignores you, don’t take it personally. He doesn’t want to be around the awesomeness that is you? Fine. Even if you did do something to trigger this reaction, it’s still his fault for keeping the reason to himself.



Do you recommend confronting a guy that’s ignoring you?

It honestly depends on the situation. You need to look at it objectively. If your friend had this exact problem with the same specifics, what would you tell her to do? Should she say, ‘What’s wrong with you?” to a guy that probably never liked her in the first place? Should she tell him how she feels if they’ve been best friends forever, and now he’s not around? It really depends. I find that ignoring him back is entirely unnecessary because he won’t notice, anyway. Usually, I just go about my business, and have a great day anyhow.

The Guy That Ignores You seems to come up in my life way too often, so I’ll probably to devote a couple of posts to it in the future.




The Guy That Gets Mad For No Reason


This one often has the power to make you feel guilty … if you let him. Once again, I highly recommend looking at the situation objectively. Did you really do anything wrong?

When someone’s unjustly mad at you, it tends to make you feel bad. You don’t know whether to fix things or get just as angry as he is. Talk it out with your friends. Let them bash him for being an insensitive jerk, and then move on. Don’t carry that bad feeling for the rest of your day.

Remember that some people just have anger problems. Or they don’t deal with stress well. Maybe he needs a friend and not a romantic relationship. If his random outbursts are damaging to your health, then you should keep your distance until he can figure out. And if he’s willing to talk it out with you in a calm fashion, you could give that a try.

Here are some other things you could do:

Steps To Take With A Two-Faced Guy


1. Always treat him with respect. You never want to accuse him of anything. There’s obviously some sort of an emotional block in addition to his deeper issues. Cussing him out won’t help. Blaming him for his behavior won’t help, even if you’re right. But respecting him and his feelings will make any of the Jekyll & Hyde types easier to handle.

2. Don’t let his good qualities overshadow all the times he made you feel bad or insecure. See the article, You Forget, right here.

3. Check and be 100% sure that you didn’t do anything wrong. It never hurts to check. After looking at the situation objectively, what if you discover that you pushed an issue that he specifically asked you not to interfere with? This goes along with respecting his feelings. Don’t be stubborn or hardheaded. Sometimes, you have to apologize and move on.

4. Consider keeping your distance. If he’s a polarized good guy and a bad guy wrapped up in one, being around him will most definitely be damaging for your self-esteem. You won’t be able to please anyone who’s like that. Don’t stick around someone who sees you as the source of their problems. When it gets this far, a relationship will be too difficult. It will be impossible for you to “fix” him or make it right without some rational cooperation on his part.

5. Don’t believe that you deserve “the punishment”. You don’t deserve an angry outburst or the silent treatment. He really needs to use his words.

6. Remember the Reciprocal (read that article here). You can’t complain about him being two-faced if you ignored your best friend all of last month and cussed out your parents this morning. We really should treat people the way we want to be treated. You cannot expect someone to be socially mature if you aren’t either.



We all have various sides to our personalities. With children, you see them playing happily, one moment, and then … a huge fight is going down. As we get older, our expressions of emotions need to mature. Angry outbursts won’t be necessary if you speak up when something bothers you the first time. Each person has good traits, and not-so-good ones. We need to find a balance and continue improving.



Love,

Zabrinah


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