The Bad Boy Syndrome

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Do you remember what bad boys used to look like? Think of John Travolta’s character in Grease. He’s definitely an iconic bad boy. Women used to SWOON over his image. Many still do. But if you look at it objectively (which might be difficult if you love the movie), you will see that his character had a lot of horrible, dangerous habits, a problem with anger/violence, and he was a shallow womanizer. A lot of modern bad boys still fit these criteria, so what makes them attractive?

Here are a few things a bad boy possessed to make your heart flutter in the past:


1. His charm/talent.

2. His genuine popularity (with everyone—women and men). He’s a hot commodity!

3. He’s full of mystery.

4. He seems strong.

5. You’re tired of being labeled the “good girl”.

6. You’re eager to uncover and bring out his sweet/lovable side.

7. You ultimately believe that you can change him into your ideal man—keep a few of his qualities, and throw away the others.



Breaking it down:


1. His charm is really his flirting technique, which he has acquired by LOTS OF PRATICE with several girls at a time. Don’t believe me? See He Flirts With Everybody.

2. His popularity might be attractive (See If You Want Instant Success), but that only comes from letting every girl know she has a chance with him… even while you’re dating him. He will have friends with benefits. Before you know it, he might be one of them.

3. That mystery comes from him answering all of your questions with a simple “Yes,” or “No,” because he doesn’t want to open up or be bothered.

4. Dangerous habits and rages of jealously do not make a man strong. They make him hot-headed and irrational.

5. It’s better to be the “good girl” than to be abused by a bad boy. You can’t change him, and he can’t change you.

6. Don’t enter a relationship trying to bring out someone’s “other side”—if they even have one! He doesn’t show his true emotions for a reason. At the end of the day, it’s his choice whether he wants to or not, no matter how much persuading you do.

7. See .001% Rule.


As you can see, bad boys are just ANNOYING and FRUSTRATING. You can try and try to change them (because you will want to!), but you’ll get nowhere.

In the beginning of the movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, a little girl is mistreated by a young boy in the park. She runs to her mother crying about the incident, and do you know what this sensible adult tells her? “He’s only picking on you because he likes you, honey.”



That statement is so far from the truth. Through elementary school—all my fundamental years—I’ve been told this by several other students, even a few teachers and parents. That statement somehow makes bad boys more attractive, and the nice guys, less desirable. That's why a lot of girls who are dating the nicest of guys say, "Sorry. There's no spark." All the people that told you, mean guys, players, and jerks are mistreating you because they like you, are wrong!



Mark my words; I am now making a decision not to listen to the "he likes you" type of advice, only because it will lead you astray. If he likes you, you will know. You will see it in every wonderful way possible. When a guy likes you, he doesn’t pick on you ‘til you cry. He doesn’t hit you, throw things, or abuse you. He will not be a jerk if you’re his one true love. He will treat you how you deserve to be treated: with the utmost respect.



Remember Mr. Random & His Issues? Bad Boys have their issues too. They might be super insecure, so now, they’re overcompensating. Or it could be something else. We rarely know everything that’s going on in a person's life.

We tend to think that bad boys are “so hot!” But trust me, when it comes down to it, he will make you unbelievably angry and disappointed. He’s desirable, but unless he makes a choice to change, he will not be the man for you. You need to fall out of love with him.



You may WANT a bad boy, but what you NEED is a man who will make soup for you when you’re sick. You may want someone who’s tough and dangerous, but you need a guy that’ll come home safely after a night with friends. You may want a popular ladies’ man to call your own, but you’ll always need someone who only has eyes for you.



Love,



Zabrinah

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