Top 3 Ways To Identify A Jerk

How Not To Fall In Love … with a jerk.

Top 3 Ways To Identify A Jerk:

1. Your friends/family say he’s a jerk, but you don’t see it.

2. He has a bad reputation with all past girlfriends.

3. He treats you badly.

I know I have a problem with this. What should I do?

Follow these rules.


Rule One: Identify him as a jerk.

Rule Two: Don’t forget that he is a jerk.

Rule Three: Never date him.


Seems easy enough, but you’ll still see the signs and ignore them. You’ll know the rules and break them. There have been countless times when I’ve fallen for someone I shouldn’t have. We see the signs. We know the rules. And yet we choose to ignore them for various reasons deriving from severe loneliness to just wanting a boyfriend. The three easiest signs to identify are also the easiest to overlook. Let’s analyze them.


With Sign #1, you tend to discount friends and family who tell you he isn’t the one. Why? Because you’re so used to people sharing their unwarranted opinions that you tune them out when you don’t agree with what they have to say (in fact, I even wrote about when not to listen to people here). However, I need you to tune in. Listen to what the people who are close to you have to say when they come at you in large numbers. If he’s a jerk, most of your family and at least half of your friends will tell you. And they’ll have solid evidence to back up their claims (Signs 2 & 3). Listen to them. Focus on this guy’s negative points, so you can keep your heart safe and move on.
Have you ever spoken to the friends/family of a divorced couple—or even a couple that went through an awful breakup? A lot of the time, these relatives say things like, “I knew he wasn’t the man for you”, “I never liked him,” and “I told you not to marry that jerk.” You don’t want to hear this after a messy breakup. Especially because you heard it while the two of you were dating. You heard it on the day he met your parents. You heard it while you were developing a crush on him. Do yourself a huge favor. Listen the first time.


Sign #2 concerns his past relationships. This one is also quite easy to ignore because we always believe that we’ll be that one. You believe you’re so special that he’ll automatically change once he starts dating you. Honestly, I don’t think this ever happens. Not in the way that we imagine. We imagine being so extraordinary that we can alter a man’s ways with just one date. Everyone ponders and hopes for this at one time or another. You can have low self-esteem and still think that a jerk can change. You can be struggling with your confidence and still go out with him, anticipating that he’ll transform into a decent husband. Sadly, there’s a .001% that he will (yes, I made that figure up, but it will change your life!). There’s a dual reality occurring in each of us, generating from both our hearts and our minds. The heart can be too foolish, too passionate. And the mind can be too rational, too wise. Find the healthy medium in order to make the right choice.


Sign #3 is the one that every girl believes she can and will avoid. None of us imagine dating an abusive guy. It’s no one’s fantasy. But, you’d be surprised how many of us are involved with jerks without even knowing it. Honestly, if he never texts or calls you back, then he’s a jerk. And if he only texts you at odd hours at night, expecting you to come over, you shouldn’t. Because he’s a jerk. And though it may not be apparent to the world, he’s mistreating you. A guy who doesn’t respect you automatically qualifies as a jerk. Be careful because these little, seemingly insignificant actions can sum up to a lot of pain on your part.


Memorize the signs. Don’t break the rules. You’ll be fine.



Love,


Zabrinah


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