Self-Importance

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There are times when you see a guy that you don’t even know yet, and you start to over think things. The kind of self-importance we’re going to discuss is when you read too much into your own actions, and then assume that he’s reading into them too. Here are some situations where you might get carried away:



1. You’re in the mall and you see a really attractive guy across the food court. You worry about how oily your skin is today and how you should have put on more makeup before you left the house.

2. On an airplane, the man of your dreams sits next to you. Immediately, you’re anxious about whether your arm is too close to his. What if they brush against each other? What if you fall asleep and your head rests on his shoulder? What will you say? What will you do?

3. You haven’t seen your high school crush in forever, and now here he is. While the two of you are talking, you worry that he has noticed that you've gained 3 pounds since he last saw you.

I labeled the above situations as self-importance because there is a great chance that he didn’t notice any of the things you worried about. I have guy friends who know I’m vegetarian, but still offer me bites of their hamburgers. A lot of guys are slow. What’s very important to you may not be as important to him. The sooner you understand that, the sooner you’ll behave normally.



Even if he notices you, and decides that he likes you, he still won’t see the teeny tiny details like the fact that your hair has been in a ponytail for all of last week or that your eyebrows haven’t been tweezed for two whole days. Watch out for these situations because they can affect how you act. And because you are so worried about your appearance/actions, it can lower your self-confidence when meeting new people. You might appear more timid, nervous, or anxious than you really are. Your insecurities will show. No, maybe you don’t look your very best at the moment. But, you should still be certain that you are a good person with many unique qualities and a great personality.



Prevention.



There have been so many times that I’ve left my house not fully confident in how I looked … and then regretted it—because of a guy—later. I had to reflect and ask myself, why did you leave the house not looking or feeling confident in yourself? If you know you look absolutely gross in holey sweatpants, a tank top, and shoes, don’t wear that to the mall or to school. In a rush? Wake up earlier. Be yourself and make sure you’re correctly portraying who you are in public. That way, you’re less likely to get caught off guard.



Love,

Zabrinah