I think this could change your life.
In one of the first episodes of the first season of Drop Dead Diva, an hour-long drama on Lifetime, two best friends agreed not to like someone unless that someone liked them first.
Let's repeat this:
Make a pact not like someone unless they like you back.
1. If this person is available and seemingly right for you it's a lot smarter to wait until they like you, or at least know your name before you fall head over heels. ESPECIALLY, if you are the kind of person that falls hard and too quickly.
2. The longer you wait before choosing to like someone, the more time you have to get to know them. Know if they're single, nice, interesting, something other than good looking or initially attractive.
What do you mean before I choose to like someone? I can't help who I like?!
You kind of need to change your mindset if you want this How Not To Fall In Love with the wrong type of person stuff to work. Honestly. We were made with the ability to decide what's good in our life and what isn't. We choose what we eat. We choose who are friends are. We hopefully choose who our friends aren't. We choose what we want when we want it--more so as we get older.
I still don't know if I can choose who I like.
You're viewing it the wrong way and making it more difficult than it really is. Let's say you have a thing for guys in jail. That's just your type--can't change it, right? Wrong. Change it. Please. Choosing who you like and who you think about in that way is obviously up to you. Take command. Broaden your horizons if you need to. View this pact as tweaking your type a bit. Now you're into people who are into you.
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS LESS OF A PERMANENT RULE AND MORE OF A GUIDELINE FOR CERTAIN SITUATIONS. This is all about waiting. Taking it slower than: "Oh! I just met him today! Oh! Lemme get his number! Oh! Texting him before he walks away! Oh! Telling all my friends! Oh! ....... oh. He's in a relationship. That's embarrassing. Darn, you guys. So close, huh?"
What you read above should never happen to you again ... if you obey the pact.
Love,
~Zabrinah
This is a good post. It is so true that we have choices and sometimes make the wrong one. Many people do not realize they actually do have a choice and believe that is just the way it is. We have the power within us to change our direction, to change our lives. If it isn't working, we have what it takes to dig in and do something different.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for visiting my blogs and I am very pleased you enjoyed them both.
Thank you very much, I obviously agree! :)
ReplyDeleteWe are able to change our own lives.
LOVE your advice about waiting. Falling in love too fast can be tragic. It's so much better to get to know someone as a friend first. Then love is more meaningful.
ReplyDeleteThis is really good advice from someone who sounds like they really care about their cause. I think you have a great thing going here with your blog.
ReplyDeleteI used to do this ALL of the time in high school, and even middle school. I can think of five boys who I merely laid eyes on and decided they were my life's love.
I'm not so much like that anymore now that I'm in college. I don't want to credit college for that, because really it's just me having grown up and learned from experience. There was this guy in my history discussion class last semester - he was beautiful: golden hair, golden skin, blue eyes. I was tempted, and I did think about him ( and okay, Facebook-ed him - however, I made an agreement with myself that I would not friend him because he didn't even know me). Eventually, I grew out of thinking about him and dreaming of next semester when we would have practically every class together and start dating. If it happens, fabulous - then it's in God's plans - if not, then it just wasn't meant to be. Let me tell you, it feels much better to have that mindset right there, instead of the obsessive one of my high school and middle school days.
Stopping by from SITS. Have a good fourth!
Thank goodness someone said it!!! I'm married, but I have been there and back! People fall for someone, before they even know their name. I'm glad I found your blog on SITS! Your blogs is going under my recommended blogs list.
ReplyDeleteThanks... this is what I'm trying to do right now!!! It's extremely difficult and I hate it. But it makes sense.
ReplyDeleteThat Pact is life changing for me. Thank you! God bless you. Love from India.
ReplyDelete