LOVE Him. HATE Him.

Z-NOTE: THE HOW MUCH I LIKE A GUY METER HAS BEEN UPDATED WITH FURTHER DETAIL. CLICK ME TO READ THE NEW POST!


You’re starting to like the guy you don’t want to fall in love with. You’re trying not to, but it’s still happening. You read this blog and you’re using the tips. When his good qualities threaten to pull your mind off to fantasy land, you focus on his bad ones. You remember that he’s self-absorbed or not romantically compatible with you in the long run.

But, there might be too much focus on the bad. This will stop you from making friends. Or even having a normal day because you’re too busy concentrating on the bad in an effort not to like him.

I’ve definitely been guilty of contemplating too much on the bad qualities. And then I would act on it. When you’re focusing too hard, your thought process might go a little something like this:

“Look at him over there. Who does he think he is? Lord knows what I was thinking, starting to like this fool. And look at him now. Walking like that. Wearing those dark denim jeans and navy blue sweater. He's flexing his muscles? I can’t believe how arrogant he is.”



Because of your judgmental thoughts, you begin to treat him badly. Maybe you ignore him. Or walk away before he’s done talking to you.

Having a nasty attitude doesn’t erase how you feel. No matter how much we hope it does. It only makes you look bad. The greatest accomplishment in this case would be to not dislike the person. I’ll repeat this. The guy you never want to fall in love with: your goal is to not dislike him. It's Level 1 on the “How Much I Like A Guy Meter”.



Level 1: You don’t dislike him. He’s okay. He’s just another person in your life.



Level 2: You may be starting to have feelings for him. You’re not sure. But if he asked you out, you’d be ready and willing to say, “Yes!” You may try to inject his name into conversations with your friends, parents, or strangers.



Level 3: You like him. You really really like him. You daydream. You giggle. You look forward to seeing him all the time. You identify that this is probably how you should feel when you’re in a committed relationship.



Level 4: You wake up in the morning, and you’re sad he’s not there. You open your eyes and he’s one of the first things on your mind. Every moment apart, you miss the heck out of him.



Level 5: You’re definitely in love. It feels strong, unbreakable, and unique. Never before have you felt like this. There is absolutely no questioning whether this is love or whether he’s the man for you. You know.



Level 6: You’re insane. The Meter doesn’t get any higher than this. You stalk him. You live and breath him. People have told you that you’re crazy. You know this isn’t normal. You feel as if you can’t help it.



You want to be a successful Level 1 before anything else. You want to take the levels slowly, not meet him—and five seconds later, jump to a 2.5. That’s not healthy. And you don’t want to see the guy you won’t fall in love with and drop to a –2.5 either. Because the negative numbers are especially unhealthy. They’re signs of denial.

Aim for #1.


Love,

Zabrinah