His Actions

He admitted that he likes you, but he isn’t showing it. What do you do? Do you say something? Or do you keep quiet and hope that he notices? Do you sit and hope and pray that he changes?

Signs that his actions don’t match up to what he is saying:


1. He likes you, but he treats you worse than your good friends do.

2. He likes you, but he doesn’t know who your good friends are.

3. He likes you, but your good friends despise him (they’re eager to tell you this).

4. He likes you, but he won’t refer to you as his girlfriend.

5. He likes you, but he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend.

6. He likes you, but he doesn’t respond to your phone calls, emails, or text messages because he’s too busy or because he “never responds to those”.

7. He likes you, but he can’t find time to be with you (though his facebook account shows him and his buddies hanging out every other night).

8. He likes you, but he flirts with other girls.

9. He likes you, but he doesn’t want to get “too touchy” in public. In a group of peers, you two don’t look like a couple and don’t act like one.

10. He likes you, but he always has a ready excuse when you bring up his behavior.

11. He likes you, but he won’t alter his behavior to make you happy.



Sadly, there are a million ways, for a guy that says he likes you, not to treat you the wonderful way you deserve to be treated.



Still feeding into the irrational excuses? Some girls will buy into them and other girls will make up their own. Excuses are coping mechanisms. They’re created to make you feel better when it’s obvious that you are being mistreated. The fact that you’re being ignored or pushed aside by someone that claims to love you forever feels awful. But you can’t overlook how you truly feel in this situation. It means something when someone’s actions don’t live up to their promises.



Let’s put this into perspective. When’s the last time you weren’t too enthusiastic to return a phone call or a text message? This person keeps trying to reach you (and you don’t understand why because you never pick up). You really don’t want to answer (because he or she calls too much, doesn’t understand that you will most likely never respond, and is annoying). When this individual isn’t around, you’re relieved. When this certain someone is talking to you, you act like everything’s fine, that you like him/her, and the two of you are the best of friends. You’re a pro at keeping up the conversation. You’re acting this way because you don’t like this person, no matter what you say to convince yourself otherwise. If this was the guy of your dreams, wouldn’t you call him back and leave a lovey dovey message on his voice mail? Wouldn’t you look forward to spending time with him? You’d want everyone to know that the two of you are together—this is your man, hands off; don’t even look at him for too long. I’m just showing you that when you honestly like someone, your actions match what you say.


Okay. I see your point. And the guy I’m with now isn’t treating me too well. But, he says he likes me! How cute is that?


He’s got to show you. Three words shouldn’t impress you to the point that you ignore his negative actions and settle into an unhappy relationship. A guy who really likes you will show it, in addition to constantly telling you. You will be able to know that he likes you by the effort he puts into the relationship. You will see the flowers he left on your desk. You will taste the cake he baked for your birthday. You will smell the cologne he wore in order to impress you on the first date. You’ll hold his hand when you’re out on that date. You will consistently be reminded by his actions that he cares about you. If you find yourself unsure whether he likes you, then you seriously need to consider what your standards for a relationship are, and whether they are being fulfilled.



Love,


Zabrinah