He's Technically Taken

How Not To Fall In Love … with someone who’s unavailable.

Technically taken is what we call guys who are unavailable for one reason or another. Usually he has a girlfriend. But even that piece of information gets blurry by the time you’re done with it. Especially if you don’t spend a lot of time with this girlfriend of his (maybe you’ve never even met her), you tend to forget she exists. That’s why you tell yourself and your friends, “He’s technically taken.”

Because he’s taken, he cannot and should not commit to a relationship with you. Making excuses to like someone who can’t commit to you only brings denial and anticipation. Not to mention heartbreak. You have no business trying to fall in love with someone who’s already in love. That’s a formula for disaster, but we do it all the time. And sometimes, you’re not the only one to blame. He may deliberately give you an ounce of hope that you might get together. In some cases, you might be reading too much into his actions. And in other cases, he may:

1. Be extremely touchy/flirty with you.

2. Ask you out (unbelievable, but it happens).

Though these two actions have the power to make you extremely giddy, happy, and feel like you’re melting inside, you have to realize that he is being ridiculously inappropriate. You’ve got to consider if you want a guy who would treat his existing girlfriend like this.

If the guy is married or in any sort of relationship, I think it’s best to gradually loosen the hold your heart has on him. I’ve definitely reached a point in my life where I’ve realized that it doesn’t make any sense to crush on guys in relationships. Though it’s fun to talk about him and fantasize, it makes no sense. Unrequited love isn’t that cute. Society romanticizes it a lot! It’s only cute on TV when two, insanely attractive singles think their love is unrequited, only to find out that they both love each other. As we all know, real life isn’t always like that. And it’s an unfortunate fact that a lot of our affections are not returned.

If you don’t want to be that girl who steals everyone’s boyfriend (you know that girl), then you should let him go. And if you want to be in a happy, healthy relationship one day, you should let go.

There is no compromising in this type of situation. In fact, I was on a forum when I came across a quote saying, "Whatever you compromise to keep, you will lose."

Sure, you can be his friend. But, make sure you honestly see him as that. Implement the sibling rule: view and treat him as your brother. It will only make the friendship stronger and healthier. You won’t feel the urge to participate in excessive daydreaming and over-analyzing his actions. The sibling rule will help you take the relationship with his girlfriend more seriously.

I will definitely be writing more about the various types of unavailable guys in future posts!


Love,

Zabrinah


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