The Great Expectation

You’re going to an event (i.e. school, work, gathering of friends etc …) and you know he’s going to be there. You know what you’re going to say and how you’ll say it. He will not catch you off guard. You will not fall for him. You know what to do. You’re fully prepared. The time has come to prove to yourself that the two of you can just be friends. You arrive …. and he’s not there. You look around and you’re positive he’s not there. And now you’re confused because you should be happy. Common sense says it’s good that he’s not there. Now you don’t have to worry about falling in love with someone who’s clearly not right for you. But your heart sinks. The disappointment threatens to consume you. And it hurts.

Once you notice his absence, you begin to nonchalantly (or so you think) ask around. “Is … is he coming? Is he sick? Where is he?”



Or maybe you don’t ask about him because you don’t want anyone to know that you noticed he’s gone. But the question still remains. Where is he?



You expected that he would be there. In fact you anticipated his whereabouts and it only brought you disappointment. Like I always say, anticipation is the worst. You want to not dislike him. Imagine someone in your life that you don’t dislike. They’re just an okay person, right? When’s the last time they didn’t show up for an event, missed a day of work, was sick at school?



You probably don’t know. The fact that you anticipated his appearance means you’re higher than a Level 1. You anticipated because you’ve taken a special interest in him. You want to know his schedule because all you want to do is see him.



Not good. If you’re more than aware that this is not the guy for you, you need to find a way to become a 1. The next time you notice that he isn’t around, you need to still find joy and purpose at the event. You have to prove to yourself that you can have a great day without him, the same way you can have a great day when he is there. He shouldn’t be the variable that makes a day good or bad. You have more command over your life than that. Use it.



Love,
Zabrinah