The Breakup Song

“I love you. I miss you. I need you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Now, you’re gone.”


These aren’t actual lyrics, but they could be. This could be the song that gently rocks you to sleep at night. This could be the song that brings you dreams of him. This could also be the catalyst that sends you running back to someone who just isn’t right for you.

Be aware. That’s all I’m asking. It’s hard to admit when a song you love may not be good for you. But, there are times when it’s certainly inappropriate to fall in love with him or still be in love with him (i.e. he’s a cheater, player, jerk, man not suited for you). In these cases, maybe you should avoid the love songs until you get a handle on your heart.


I’m not going through a breakup. How can this help me?

Hey, I’m not going through a breakup either. But every time I play a certain song, I can’t help but reminisce on a guy from the past. Or a guy of my present. Sometimes, it’s a nice, nostalgic moment, but that's only because I’m so far removed from the situation with him. I've reached a better place. Other times, it’s not as healthy. The song pulls me right back to missing him. The breakup song or any love song for that matter—makes me think of him specifically. I connect every lyric, every word to his personality, his actions, and his personality. And that can be dangerous if he’s someone I shouldn’t be with. It’s less about the song and more about me.


I’m not going to recommend specific artists because we all have varying tastes, but when you’re going through a hard time, having difficulty not falling in love, or just don’t want to think about him today, listen to songs about the love of life. There are a lot of those. Or how about songs concerning family and goodhearted friendships. Broaden your tastes a bit. You’ll enjoy what you find!



Skeptical? Test it out! If/when you’re struggling to get over a guy, cut out all the love songs for one week. Listen to other songs and get them stuck in your head. Whistle them when you’re bored. Hum the tune when you’re going for a walk. I can pretty much guarantee that this one week will be the easiest when it comes to falling out of love with him. You’ll have an easier time letting him go. You’ll definitely think about him less. Life will be better.



I still don’t see a problem with music.

Neither do I! Music is wonderful. Music can change us. And breakup songs do help directly after the relationship falls apart. They allow you to accept how you really feel. They allow you to cry out all the feelings you held back. And if it’s a really good song, it will allow you to move on instead of getting stuck where you are now, or heading back to where you were before.



Good luck finding a healthy balance.



Love,


Zabrinah


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