A Baby Crush

You’ve been trying not to like him. The problem is you’re trying too hard. You’re not talking to your friends about him. You refuse to look at him for too long. You keep telling your mind, “Stop! Stop!” Everything bottles up inside and it builds even more when you interact with him. Trying too hard is just as bad as liking him because it reaps the same results. It makes him more desirable. You reach the point you hoped to avoid the most.

Trying too hard? You need to fess up. Mainly to yourself. And perhaps you should tell one friend (a true confidante). You must admit that you have a little, bitty, insignificant baby crush on him.


Why should I do that? It goes against everything I’ve been working for.

Not necessarily. You want to relieve the pressure of not liking him. In life, whatever we tend to focus on usually comes into being—whether we concentrate on not doing something or doing it, it tends to happen. Owning up to the attraction is a way of telling your brain, “Yes, I like him, but not for long.”

What next?

Continue that conversation with yourself. Why won’t this little crush evolve into something more?


“Well, because he’s flaky. He’s too immature. He has a girlfriend. I’m already in a relationship. He’s a player. We’re much better as friends.”

Consider why you were attracted to him in the first place. Was it because all your friends decided he was handsome? Or was it something else that you’re prone to? Figure out how to prevent a reoccurring pattern.

Make sure you admit just enough. Don’t get crazy and lead a four-hour-long phone conversation about him. Don’t blow it out of proportion. After you admit the crush, you have to be able to move on. You hopefully don’t have to mention it again. If you do, use broad comments such as:

“I struggled today. But, I know that we are just friends (acquaintances, classmates, co-workers …etc).”


Owning up to the crush and investigating why it existed are important steps to getting over him. It’s better to admit without going overboard than to deny and tell yourself, “Stop! Stop!” Denying or trying to control your mind are counterproductive measures. Your body rarely responds to them.

For instance, you have to give a public presentation and your hands are shaking. Telling them to stop usually doesn’t work. In fact, they get worse and your knees start to buckle too. However, if you can redirect your attention to the task at hand, your shaking hand won’t matter as much.

A very, very, good tai chi teacher said …

“Acknowledge. Accept. Allow.”

Read more about his philosophies by clicking here.


If you allow the trembling, chances are it will discontinue on its own. If you allow the crush, but intend to focus on the task at hand (school, work, life … etc), he will take up less space in your thoughts. You will be free. Good luck.


Love,

Zabrinah