.001% Rule

In Top Three Ways To Identify A Jerk, I briefly referred to the .001% Rule.


This rule could change your life.

.001% can apply to various situations where you should avoid falling in love with someone. Here are a few examples:

1. You go out with him, hoping that he’ll magically transform into a decent guy.

2. You start to like him, believing that he won’t mistreat you like the relationships of his past.

3. You fall for him, anticipating that what the two of you have is so special that it can overcome the fact that he’s a player/taken/jerk/unavailable in any other way.


This might hurt, but you need to believe that there is a .001% chance that any of the above situations will ever work out or happen. There’s a 100% chance that you’ll walk away with regrets if you go through with it.


With #1, you start to like him, believing that you can change him. I’m all for confidence, obtaining a high self-esteem, and optimistic thinking, but this is one of those times when I’ll tell you that you’re not special enough to change him. No one is. He has to make a choice to figure out his own issues before he can love anyone properly. Besides, you shouldn’t have to FUNDAMENTALLY change someone in order for the relationship to work. He should already meet your most basic standards by the time you view him in a romantic way.



What basic standards?

I think we all need a few basic standards in order to prevent us from heartbreak. Don’t go crazy with a 30 page list, but in the far, far, back of your mind, you must know what you’re looking for. What kind of person is compatible with you? Whether he needs to be ambitious, well-spoken, or really nice to your parents, you need to set some standards that you consistently stay true to. Don’t go back on your word. Make the standards now and don’t forget them. Don’t let his gorgeous face and charming attitude deter you from his lack of respect for your feelings, or his controlling nature.



With #2 and #3, you have to remember that he has a problem that’s bigger than you. If he has a history of cheating or dishonesty, then there’s definitely a deeper issue. And you are not the solution. Worse yet, if he’s your friend or someone you truly care about on a platonic level, you cannot help him if you have feelings for him. If all his past relationships are a train wreck, don’t become the next victim. You are not undefeatable or indestructible when it comes to love. He can still break your heart. Try not to willingly place yourself right where he charm you. You could very easily be the next victim.



How else will .001% help me?

1. It stops you from making excuses. You will no longer think, "I can like him because he'll change," or "I'll go out with him because he won't be like this forever."

2. It will eradicate tendencies of self-importance in your life. You know what I’m talking about. If you know there’s a very small chance of a healthy relationship with this person, then you’ll stop believing that you have the power to change him—that falling in love with you will make him a better person. Save yourself a lot of pain by remembering the .001% Rule.



Love,


Zabrinah

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